Instead of loading you up with information about MY situation, let me ask you a question:
What is missing from your marriage?
There is nothing "trick" about that question, and it's not as easy to answer as it might seem, and it hinges on something critical. When I asked my wife, the answer I got was wrong. I know that sounds incredibly arrogant, but if there's one thing I've learned to do, it's to assemble the facts and go where they lead me, not where I wish they would, or I've been told they should. Once I made that leap of logic (faith is for people who can ignore facts - crazy when you HAVE facts!), I started to see the biggest issue of all: my wife didn't know what she wanted, and asking her just seemed cruel to her.
But you know what? I spent hundreds of hours finding out what she did want, and then told her - and for the first time in ages, she didn't argue with me. Oh, she wanted to, but she couldn't.
My point: If you feel like "something is missing" in your marriage - it IS! But "what" is the million-dollar question that we can answer if we put it all together, "facts and figures", and whatever the answer is, it is.
I'll warn you in advance, however, that having the answer will require you to take action, and I'll give you two hints:
1. OM won't be it. 2. Your marriage may not survive the analysis.
Sounds brutal, but how's living the way you are now? Any less brutal? You know that #2 is hard for me to write, because I'm not over anything yet - and haven't totally given up yet, either. But I can't live a life of sacrifice to an idea - sacrifice is a state of being guaranteed to get you no respect from your mate or anyone else, including yourself.
Reread that last sentence. Sacrifice is something for nothing, a fool's errand if there ever was one. When you do something, there MUST be a return - even if it's twenty years later, like it often is with children. But you MUST have the knowledge that it will be there, because without it, life is nothing but resentment and unrest.
I'm writing this to you to start your thought process, because I reviewed your old posts. If you and your husband HONESTLY lead a mutually beneficial life, then there's no "something for nothing" - if he earns all the money, and you clean the whole house, that may be a fair trade for you - but if there's sacrifice, there's resentment - relationship POISON. [Just an example - got more? LOL]
Think this one over, carefully, and answer that first question in a day or so.
