A little update here. More conversations have occurred with W, some centered around visitation and the upcoming separation. I have asked some more probing questions, just listening for the most part, but saying enough to keep the doors of possibility open. She's really reacted oddly to some of this -almost drawing closer, buying me ab irthday cake and presents, almost said "I love you" Friday, etc., but also pulling away - seems to be largely tied to the time she spends with OM. I can see the conflict in her and she knows it's there, but I'm trying to illuminate some of the radically illogical moves she's making without being accusatory or mean - just "open". We shall see. I don't think I have much to lose, really. Her self-esteem and sense of achievemnet are at all-time lows, and I'm really trying to build her up in a way that doesn't focus on her personal appearance or physical shape, which she has always focused on too much.
