Thanks all for your input - I know exactly what you're saying and agree with most all of it. Much of my discussion with W centers around asking her questions, posed as if I'm simply curious, to make sure she thinks through some of her decisions/opinions. Allowing her to continue making irrational conclusions and validating them is NOT going to help her or me - for instance, when she says are marriage was terrible from start to finish, I might ask her "Do you remember any good times - we did get married for a reason, don't you think?", and then just let her answer and form some thoughts. That's pretty general, but it's an idea of what I'm doing. Few if any of my actual opinions or beliefs ever get voiced. It's all about her and her thoughts when we talk. The only time I'll assert myself is regarding my son, where it's just too dangerous to agree with radical stuff.
She can definitely see the new me, because she gets angry if there's a sign of backsliding - and why should she care, if we're not going to be together? Interestingly, a few weeks ago, she DIDN'T care. Anger is sometimes a good thing, as long as it isn't unchecked/irratinal. And it beats the hell out of apathy.....
