I think I'm locked - my reply to the last post is this:
Ford - Thanks for the advice, and in a way, I'm following it. The "do what works, don't do what doesn't" plan is in effect with me. The waiting forever for her as she digs her hole deeper wasn't tolerable anymore, so I've started the ball rolling on two things: 1. Initiate separation planning. 2. Start conversations with her using very carefully crafted man-woman dialog techniques that allow me to illuminate some points to her that she seems to want to ignore - logical, salient things that I know she can see. One of the DB things I'm uncomfortable with is treating her like she can't or won't deal with reality. That's certainly true in some situations, but not in mine.
I'm not sure how successful any of this will be, but the prior plan was just making her departure comfortable. Don't get me wrong - we are NOT arguing, I'm just asking REALLY probing quastions about her thoughts and letting her answer them to herself or me - doesn't matter if I hear them or not, as long as she can see the illogic of her actions and statements.
I'll keep everyone here posted, but I'll make one critical point before closing: Communication TECHNIQUE appears to be everything - more important than the words you use....
