Most of us on this board have been where your at, some have had even more turmoil and turned things around. So there is hope.
There is no 'one day fix it' available, even God will answer our prayers on his time and how he wants to. But there is tons of hope for your situation, read DB and DR to get started, try not to snoop or bring up relationship talks at this point.
Some people understand this sooner than others, it took me a long time! I am responsible for my happiness, not my XW, not my chidren, not a GF or anyone else. I suffered from depression and still take a small dose of anti D.
Almost 2 yrs ago my W had brought in 40 dogs to our house and back yard, CPS took the kids for a week, I put a stop to the dogs and a week later she filed to D. She had 3 affairs, was hooked on painkillers, then went to rehab, then got hooked on crack and cocaine. The house which she got in the D is now in foreclosure. We are now divorced, but she is no longer on drugs (by the grace of God), now she takes care of the children properly again and she has returned to being a nice person like the one I met years ago.
We have survived, now our glass of water is at least half full. Our kids are doing better, I am no longer sad and angry about what happened. If I start thinking about it I change my activity, NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT THE PAST. I have to tell myself yesterday is gone what can I accomplish today.
I am sorry to meet you this way, but put your situation in God's hands, learn more about what DBing is about and find what works for you. I am telling you there is hope, you can be happy again and you have a better chance if you are DB educated.
