"Sounds to me like you H needs to stop having his cake and eating it too." Well, I’ve been trying to let him have his cake and eat it until he’s plain sick of cake. Often that verges on “Doormat” and then I get frustrated and crack. I can tell that the duality of his life stopped being “fun” for him a long time ago (if it ever was) but there’s no doubt he’s been confused. He’s been afraid, feeling guilty and paralyzed into inaction. He does know he’s the only one to get himself out of it. I guess it doesn’t make it easier to do. But… He just got on a plane to go see her (planned trip) and SAYS he’s ready to end it this weekend. I told him if he’s not ready, not to do it. He says he just wants to get through it. I hope that he’s resolved the feelings enough for himself to make this stick and move forward. We’ve been here before, and so I am bracing myself for the possibilities that a) he won’t do it b) he’ll do it and flip flop afterwards or c) he’ll do it and actually move on from her (hopefully with me). While he’s away, I’m moving out of my parent’s place (aka Exile) and in with a roommate- taking some stuff from our house. Can't tell if that's good or bad timing, but it doesn't matter. It’s definitely a necessary (and positive) step for me, and it will keep me busy. To just think – soon, I’ll be able to cook a meal, light a candle or have a bath anytime I want.(back to baby steps)
