i first want to thank everyone that has posted to me. and to you i seem pretty crazy. GH i understand the affects of detaching, i believe in some of the things, but not on others. i can not and will not (as you have told me) change my core, what i feel i am all about. i am a loving person, and i NEED to show that love to everyone i do love. if that is BAD, then well i will just have to be bad. yes i have gotten worse the last week and half, i know that, you guys deffently see that. i am just having a hard time with everything right now, and i have only posted a small portion of the things i am going thru right now. i should have not posted yesturday, i was very angry with my wife, and i have every right to be. i have calmed down with her now, did not say anything to her about my anger. i do need to LOOK into the mirror, and ask myself some hard questions. 1) what do i really want, am i saving my marriage for me or the kids. i can not anwser that right now 2) do i truely feel my wife will be a person I WANT to live happy with. 3) do i feel if we stay together, will this ever happen again, cause if i believe it will, i need to end it now. you guys are right, now i have to go to my CORE and work out from there. i have not done this at this point, mainly because i was only focused on saving my marriage, i forgot to recinize to ask myself what i truly want. i am going to do that now, i dont know if i will stay or go at this point. i do LOVE MY WIFE, but sorry to say SHE is testing my love beyound the boundies of marriage. so THANK YOU, and if you think i am too lost, then you do not have to respond to me anymore, i will go at this alone, and see where it ends up.
