Hey Shppd - let go. Stop expecting anything. Don't put pressure on your W again, and don't put pressure on yourself again. What are the milestones on your journey to your goal of restoring your marriage? How many have you seen and passed so far? Your sitch truly seems to be PROGRESSING, not just evolving, yet you seem to be impatient. Your marriage is over once you have ended it, and that has not happened yet. You are giving up hope. Why? Because you're not getting what you want right now? Because you're not where you expected to be? Do you, and you alone, understand all that you will go through to divorce? Can you accept that as a way out of this uncertainty? Can you live with yourself for giving up after you have come so far? You are a different person now, and so is your W. Perhaps if you give it a little more time, and a little less scrutiny things will change. Focus on the good - this takes discipline and is your responsibility alone. If you can think of 3 positive things about your W for every negative, you will feel very differently about her. And move on - focus on other things in your life so that this isn't so central and important to you - you might just find that by nurturing it more rather than expecting things out of it you find more satisfaction in it. Of course no one can decide but you when enough is enough. I'm sure that you know that there is no quick fix for the problems, even the big D won't resolve anything - in fact it will prolong the problems. Regardless - reach down an tap into that strength that's inside you and be the person you want to be.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
