ok GH: what you say about LL's how do you find out what they truely want, i have said to you that we discussed this, WHAT SHE EXPECTS, and i have been giving her that. but you said that what she told me might not be totally true. how can i give her what she so disires if in fact i really dont know. i am not a mind reader, when we discussed this i thougt we were being totally honest with each other. at this point i would give her what ever she needed from me, if i truely knew what the was(as long as it was in the contents of our marriage. you know one of her big issues now is that i have lost so much weight and the fact that we live in a small town everyone that sees us together come up to us and asked me how i have lost so much weight and that i look really good. i know this bothers her, because she says she needs to loose weight and also blames me for her weight gain in the last several months. GH we do have alot of issues she has not or WILL not let go of, no matter what i do to change them. i might be fighting a loosing battle, but i am still trying, but as i said i am now going to change my way of doing them. i will detach in a loving way, but the little things i do, massages, physical touching, talking too much and always being around. i have to stop these things to see if they really mean anything to her, or if they are just things i like doing and the do nothing for her. if i stop doing these things i should know pretty fast if they are things that she likes or not right??
