Quote: because i have been a very faithful husband and great father, i have got her anything she has asked for, gone anywhere she wanted to go, gave her a life that i thought she wanted. but i and everyone i know were wrong, MY wife needs more, thats probaly why it hurts me so much, i have always showed her love and affection.
This one stood out to me Shippd. Even though you admit to being "wrong" about what your W needed in the R, you still close with "i have always showed her love and affection."
Have you read The Five Love Languages? If not, it may help explain what I am saying here.
You may have THOUGHT you were showing her love and affection, but I suspect that you were showing her those things in ways YOU would like them shown to you, NOT in ways SHE wants them shown to her. We ALL do that. It's natural. You even talked about it later on in the post saying that you wanted basically a woman who returns what you give her.
I submit that it's much better to learn each other's "love language", i.e. what communicates love to THEM, and then work to learn to express love in that way. For instance, if your W's primary love language was Quality Time but yours was Physical Touch, then you may have gone around giving her hugs, kisses and initiating sex, thinking that you were showing her love, all the while, being gone all the time and really "absent" when you were home. She, on the other hand, being a "Quality Time" girl would always try to spend time with you, not really to touch you or have sex, but just to talk or watch TV, thinking that because THAT was what said "I love you" to her, it would communicate the same to you. She may have missed the whole part about Physical Touch being YOUR way of feeling loved, mistaking it for just a horny guy.
I don't know what your LL's are, those were just examples, but I hope you get my point.
Your idea that you got her things, went where she wanted and gave her the life you thought she wanted may be WAY off. The most important part of that is that you THOUGHT she wanted the life you gave her but in fact, you may have misunderstood what she wanted/needs.
It's not so much that she needs MORE necessarily, but that she may need DIFFERENT from you, different ways of being shown you love her.
