That's GREAT MAN!!!! I am SO happy for you. Just remember, DBing does NOT stop now, it really STARTS! You have to keep validating, GALing, in short, keep BEING that man you've tried so hard to be. You got her to notice, then when she did, she noticed the changes. Don't make her regret her decision.
Also, it's not only up to you anymore. I think it's REALLY hard for us DBers to make that transition from never R talking to open, honest discussions of our feelings and desires with our spouses, but I think that's where you're at right now. You can't keep holding things in. She is your partner and you will need to treat her as such. Also, make sure you have lost the controlling thing for good. There WILL be things that stir your memories. There WILL be triggers, i.e. she comes home late from xyz without calling, etc. You need to be able to express yourself in those cases without anger, but with clarity. "W, I was a bit upset at you not calling. I thought you said you would. It just reminds me of when things were not so good and I don't like that. I totally understand that things happen, just try to call next time."
THAT IS if it really bothers you. That's my other advice, please try to not let things get to you. Try not to sweat the small stuff, and realize that things in your head don't count as "large" things. If there is something REAL that you are upset about, not just a possible scenario you've concocted in your head, then address it directly and honestly. My W has told me over and over agian to do that and I still have trouble with it. Practice it.
I think this could be GREAT for you. Just make sure you keep living YOUR life and give her something to look at that is not part of "us". Give her other things to admire about you. Show her your passion for life, and I think she'll stay right where she is.
Lastly, please be happy. As mama said, a woman never leaves a happy man.
Good luck!
GH
P.S. You're VERY welcome. I am really glad I could help and will be ready and willing to anytime you need it man.
