Good analogy about the pool. Your friend has it right on. She needs to do this thing at her own pace and for her own reasons. The more she feels pressured, or "pushed" by you, the less she is going to trust any good feelings she gets from it.
I'm glad you are calming down. The next step is to PUT THE OM OUT OF YOUR MIND, especially at the party. Go, have a GREAT time, BE the man you want to be and be damned if he is there or not. F-him. He's not why you're there.
