hi, i have been reading this site for a few weeks now. heres my sitch. my wife and i have been together for 17 years and have two children ages 14, and 8. i thought we had a great marriage. my wife up to a year ago was a stay at home mother (which i thought she wanted) which was difficult financialy but we managed. to better our finances she wanted to go to work and help with the bills. i agreed(but now wish i hadnt). around late september she started getting more distant. started tanning and buying alot of cloths for herself(i thought was for her). well them came march. she told me she needed space and time to figure out what she wanted in life. i then found out in april that she was having an affair with someone from work(which i still dont know who, she wont tell me). two weeks after i found out about the affair i convinced her to goto a marriage seminar along way from our home. with hopes the long weekend and time together we could fix our marriage. the only thing i got out of it was her commintment to start over as friends and see what happens after that. so i agreed. it was going really well, became very good friends. we ended up have sex three times over a two week period(which we both agree was the best we have ever had). then last weekend she told me she had a class she had to take out of town for her new promotion at work(i was very supportive). well that whole weekend her phone was off and i have no contact with her what so ever(which really ticked me off that she would do this again). well she came over on sunday evening and had supper and was very exusted. i gave her a back massage and while doing this i told her everything i loved about her, eyes lips face body everything. she then started crying and i asked what was wrong and she said i never told her that before. i then said that is how i always felt about her and could not explain why i never voiced it. well on tuesday i messed up again. i had lunch with her and asked for her to come home(which didnt settle very well with her). she told me everytime she starts to get the feeling to work it out i push her away again.. i then told her not this time that she pushed me because of last weekend. she did admit to spending the weekend with om. that she did not see a life with him he is just an nice guy and a good friend. which i have a hard time beliving because of all the other lies she has told. she did say that om was keeping her from focusing on our m and she knew she had to end it with him, and she would do so on thursday(which she didnt because she says he was out of town). she then said that she was going to do it on sunday(which she didnt because she was with me and the kids). i have not asked about her ending it in the last several days. i guess my question is this: 1)is she just telling me this to keep me around like a releaf picture, incase it dosent work out with om. 2)should i stop persueing her. (which i think she likes me doing). 3) she is making plans with me to do things but gets distant when were together, what should i think of this. i know this is a long thread im sorry for that i just need some serious hepl! by the way she told me that om has bought her several things for her home like several hundred dollars worth. do you think that is making her feel guilty enough to put off breaking it off with him?
