I haven't been to the board much lately, but I wanted to catch up with you guys and give an update.
It’s been 3 weeks now since H stated his intention to get back together again. I say it that way to remind myself that we might stay in the "intention" mode for a while.
We have been spending only a little time together, and not actively working on anything - in other words doing nothing overwhelmingly different, which is good. I am very happy to move slowly this time, for me, too.
He is still entangled with OW- She’s pressuring him a lot to make the moves he said he would make away from me. It's like he was moving quite fast in one direction and has to slow that down, rather than stop and just reverse course. There's some "saving face" for him, some big feelings to resolve, but he isn't going through a huge depression this time that I can see. More of a quiet, but still painful resolve. You know what I do see in him sometimes? Relief. He tells me a lot how much he appreciates my patience and caring to let him do this his way and in fact that my not adding to the pressure is what is making this possible for us.
There are big differences in both of us - me especially. I don’t panic if I haven’t heard from him in a while (still get a bit resentful, but I deal with it), I don’t jump at his invitations to get together. I have even had to say no if I have other plans, he is glad that I do that- now he plans ahead more!) Sometimes I do get scared he’ll back out again, but because I don’t make a big deal out of that, he reassures me because he wants to, not because he HAS to. And I appreciate his efforts without hanging on to every word.
I still have a healthy detachment to the point that I have to “psyche” myself up to see him sometimes, to really put effort in, which is a secret ingredient to “what works” right now, I think.
Quietly creeping forward. Hope I don't jinx it by saying that
