I have to tell you guys what strangeness is happening in my world...
H wants to come back (again) and I didn't expect this at ALL. On the contrary- I have been preparing myself mentally for D and for him to move away to "try" a R with OW - even though he and I have been a lot more honest and close with each other lately.
There were two catalysts for this- He spent all last week with OW. And I admitted to him a mild attraction to a good friend of ours, which is the first real threat to him since we separated a year ago. First real sign of me "moving forward", too. I have still been wanting to make our marriage work, but I have been able to really detach and have gained a lot of acceptance of myself and whatever might come.
I have heard others speak of these transformations.
H says my smile has changed- that I have a wisdom and strength he's not seen before, which he admires. I can tell others are reacting to me differently, too.
So, now- H doesn't have any plan yet, so far it is "intention" but he believes we can work. This time HE is the one "auditioning" so to speak.
I have to admit, I have a lot of mixed feelings. I am afraid of this pulling me back into his "spin". I do not want to be hurt again. I am still patient and I still want this, but I have needs, limits and goals that I will have to express eventually with caution of course.
I know so many of you have been at this point, and I have been here twice now. And still I ask if it is normal to have mixed feelings.
LeeP
PS (this seemed like a good time to start a new thread.) Here are links to my previous threads:
