Thanks for the happy thoughts....I am moving through and out of the fog.
I do admit some residual guilt tho-for feeling so crapy even tho I know I have it better than most posters here do. For that I am grateful, and to answer your question Lee, I really don't know IF or how I'd be better had I left him. I know I'd probably be a hell of a lot worse. What I think I'm after is feeling like I had a tiny bit of control throughout the whole uncontrollable thing. I am not really a serious control freak-but am very analytical and methodical in my day to day (prob stems from career) and I do not like the fact that it happened, (virtually under my dam nose) it ended and we moved on and I didn't get to have a say in any of it.
I suppose I did-but he had moved back home after the deployment and had been home 6 months before the bomb (2 days and not counting....to the 1 year mark)...we were living our lives as if nothing had happened. It was only my un-trusting snooping that got him caught-he would never have told me.
I am still resenting lots...H and I did have a quick talk last night-first OR type talk in at least 3 months, as usual, I pretty much told him how I feel-and as usual he did not have much to say. Am still mulling this one over-we never got a chance to finish-oldest son interrupted.
I have more to say (also as usual) but am once again pressed for time (class tonight-am in danger of doing below min req...)
L p.s. no time for spell check-pls forgive any mis-spellings! (am a terrible speller)
