Thanks, Kent. Wonder if I'll ever figure out how to lighten up!
Here's an update: Yesterday am even though I did cry, I did a pretty good job of whole heartedly saying to my H, "I don't want you to see me as competeing with your work for your attention, give your work all the attention you want--I'm not the oposition". No way José am I interested in a power struggle with my H. So, last night he came home about midnight (2a has been more of the norm lately) and said that much to his amazement he had finished one of his two grants for this stage. He had an important meeting this am so I called at noon to see how it went. He handled the situation so well (this is one thing that lets me know he really has made important changes in his life--he is standing up for himself at work like never before--not only that but he's doing so with SUCH grace and I am sooo proud of him: this is the guy I'm totally in love with). Any way at the end of the conversation I said "OK, well I'll see you tomorrow morning" (he had said he would need to work each night this week and there is that other grant) but he said no he had finished what he needed to finish and would be home for dinner....maybe I took some step in the right direction. However, I know that, for my own sanity if nothing else, I need to realize that my stand of refusing to be an opposing force to his work has to be something permanent. I don't compete, I just try to be the best self I know how to be, whether he takes me or leaves me I'm going to be the same!
[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: alottolearn ]
