That's one to consider. I have the skills to do this no problem. I've lived as a happy, healthy single person with plenty of good friendships longer than as a married person.
I get thrown by this issue because it has been confusing to me that my H's words and actions don't match. He says he wants to be involved in events, friendships, etc that are important to me (and I think he really does mean it at the time) but then when the opportunities arise about 65% of the time he acts withdrawn or even antagonisticly. As I write this I realize that he is better than he used to be on this. During the affair (for any who don't know it was over 4 years and I didn't have the remotest idea) I operated just like you are describing, I was completely independent of him in my social, and work life. Yet I was the doting wife. Taking care of him in every way so he could be free to do his work was the number one priority.
So what's the solution? #1. Stop whinning and forgive the guy alright, already. #2. Selectively go back to some of the patterns during the affair? Stop associating them with the affair and realize they did get me through something worse than I knew. #3. Get more exercise! Think I'll get to work on that one right now!
[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: alottolearn ]
