Please, post more, if only for me, lol. Seriously, if you benefit from journaling, do it.
As for where you are right now, is the OM thing just a feeling? Does she say she's still talking to him? Does she know it hurts your R and thus needs to go away sooner rather than later... or at least SOMETIME? Do you feel like she's keeping him as a safety net?
In a lot of ways, your sitch is like mine. The major difference is that you are MLing with your W, and for me, that would be the litness test to tell if my W was serious or not. So far, while I mostly trust that my W is committed to "us", without THAT component to our marriage being revitalized, I don't 100% believe it. Even after, as you say, I may not still be 100% convinced, but I would go from 65% to 95% in about 20 seconds (lol, maybe it would last 30 seconds, who knows).
