why did it take so long, you ask? Because life just takes over and we get comfy. That can't be changed, the present can. I look back at my M and in many, many ways I was super-hubby but there are things I would do differently. But I can only deal with today and that is what I do! Another 180 for you might be to enjoy your time alone. My W goes out one night a week for a few hours (after the kids go to bed) and, yes, it hurts inside but it is also a chance for me to do things for me e.g. read a book or whatever. She usually just says "I'm going now" and motors on out the door. I don't usually get to say anything, not that I want to say anything nice! What is is! I will pick my battles and stay strong to fight them. I will win! You will too if you pace yourself properly. Also, it is a good thing to realize that yes, you can live without this person. You don't want to but if you have to you can. It's empowering. It doesn't mean you love her any less. As far as tonite, I think to just disappear would be kind of P/A. It's saying "I don't like what you are doing and I am sulking by taking off." It's a punishment. Maybe tell her you are going to have dinner and catch a movie or something and therefore won't be home when she leaves, then you won't be there and you'll be doing something for yourself too. And lastly, when my W dropped the bomb on me, I told her "we don't have to make any rash decisions here, we can take our time". Having children makes you very cautious about forcing a separation. You are right, you wouldn't be where you are today if you had of acted impulsively. Thank God for kids! Have a great night! Do it for you.
