Something I just remembered during my last talk with the W about our R. I had mentioned that I am very surprised at where we were at presently compared to when the bombed was dropped late April, early May. W said between that time and when we were talking “I had changed”. Now me being kind of still in my confused state did even ask about “what changed”.
There is one major thing in our M that had bugged her the past couple of years. I did not look back in my previous posts to see if I had mentioned it but since we were married I was not driving at all. I had mentioned that I had a physical disability that kind of hinders me from driving a vehicle with no hand controls. We had hand controls installed in our car and it’s been on there for 3 or so years without me using it. I got used to her doing all the driving, dropping me off and picking me up at work, driving for errands, basically everything. She did tell me in the past to get my drivers license but I did not, thinking she was just giving me a hard time about but I it was one of the things she said that kind of soured our R. She felt she was just there as a caretaker rather than a wife.
May 2006, she was going to start a new job during the day!, a big move from working the night shift for 6 years. This move to the day shift also cut her exposure to the OM who worked at another department where she used to work at. I don’t know if that was a blessing in disguise or she wanted to see for herself if she can put a little physical distance between the two of them. Knowing my W was going to be gone fulltime during the day I made it a goal to get my driver’s license and I did.
By the third day of her working the day shift I was driving myself to work, going to the store, going to the library, driving myself to MC, taking my son to swim lesson, the works. I go to the store to get my own ingredients for cooking (I do most of the cooking by the way). Since that time I started driving she probably had gone to the store about 3 or 4 times for grocery. I even drive her around town when we go visit friends or go to the mall, to the movies, and lately to her tennis practice. She has invited me twice now in the last couple of weeks to go watch her as long as I drive her over, not that I’d mind. She’s basically living the life I’ve denied her for the past few years. She doesn’t even have to worry about the finances because I handle that too. We’re going on our second year in our own house and even though we’re not well off, we’re living comfortably.
That is basically the missing part of my story. I might have missed a few items but if you’re curious, just ask and hopefully I can fill it in. She treats me like she used to if not better but the one thing I cannot live with is the OM’s presence in our relationship. She is aware of that but at this point in our R, I’m not sure if I’m even entitled to make any demands. The one thing that will probably make me the happiest since this all started is if she will be able to tell me ILY. I tried it before but not the reply I was expecting. Today, my S8 and I met her during lunch break for burgers and when we dropped her back off at her work she smiled and said “ILY Guys!” That was nice feeling, but I was wishing for one just for me.
I think this maybe the longest post I have made during my short time on this board. When it comes to long posts, GH is my hero, hahah!
