After my last post this morning, W called from her cell (stuck in traffic), we talked about S8’s swim lesson and the events of earlier in the morning when it was pouring outside. I on the other hand was a little confused as to what kind of reaction I was supposed to be showing, do I show her that I was upset about last night or do I show her the normal me, jolly and always enjoys to hear her voice. The latter won so we had a decent conversation and then she made it finally to her work and then we said goodbye. I did ask her about what brought on her drinking the previous night, if she was depressed about something or what. She said she wasn’t depressed or anything and that it’s just been a while since she had really drank until the late hours of the morning.
She had called me 2 additional times during the day and we chatted about work and family stuff but nothing about the M, the R or the OM. She mostly initiates the calling because I’m trying to the do DB thing of not pursuing. She had invited me twice already to go with her to her tennis practice, actually I’m going with her tonight. At times, I feel she is really working on our M but the presence of the OM in the rearview mirror is just driving me crazy and she knows that. Sometimes, I feel like she’s doing it on purpose but I know she’s not. I just think it.
I do have this feeling sometimes of daydreaming about revenge A, it’s not going to fix things but it still comes to mind sometimes. Trying to imagine what it would be like to get that rush of being excited to see someone in secret, like they did. Oh well, back to knitting.
