Oh, and I am REALLY glad to hear you making progress through reading DB. I am a little confused, did you say you DID read the rest of the other book (which BTW, if it's His Needs/Her needs, is a book I hear recommended here a lot I just think it has some "un-DB"ish things in it) and it "got you somewhere"? I don't really follow where "it" got you. Please elaborate or correct my misunderstanding.
His Needs/Her Needs was the first book I was reading before I discovered DB. W and I actually read a few chapters together and she kind of lost interest in it because most of the stuff it talked about we already know and/or does not apply to our R. So I read the rest of it and the last part of the book, I think the chapter is called "How To Survive an Affair", it talked about the authors stand on ending the A, what the WAS is supposed to do and what the BS is supposed to expect. It also talked about total discontinuation of communication between WAS and OP and that if it calls for it a temporary separation might be in order to spare the BS from any further pain and suffering since the A is ongoing. This last part of the book got me nowhere because it's unDBish as you call it. It kind of pushed her away yesterday, hence the being "quiet" again. We haven't talked about separation in almost two weeks and here it was brought up again.
As I posted earlier, I did tell W that I don't want a separation, temporary or whatever. I don't know if she got to thinking about where this is going, our R and her R with the OM. Again, I don't want to do mind reading. I'll just have to move forward... again.
