W has been "silent" since last night. I told her last night about me making up my mind that I don't want a separation of any kind. I'm trying very hard not to do "mind reading" here, which is one of DONTs I've read about.
This morning, I did not even get a goodbye kiss from her when she went to work. Over the past week, she doesn't even miss one and when I move on to show I didn't expect her to, she gives me that body language to come on over.
I'm so confused right now. GH, from the start I stopped reading the other book halfway because DB just made more sense, but yesterday out of boredom and the heat in AZ I started reading where I left off and this is where it got me. The thing she said kept ringing in my head though, "it's not that bad", what's going on with our relationship. In a way it's not that bad, but sometimes I'm doubting myself how long I can tough it out, how long I can hold on.
I've transformed into a different person after reading DB, I don't I have even cried in front of her or begged or anything like that. Thanks to this website/forum where I read great advise from people who support each other. Reading the success stories brings tears to my eyes, I have to be really careful where I read it because sometimes it's just so touching, so touching it makes you just want to cry your eyes out.
Anyways, W, S8, and I are still on to watch a baseball game tonight. I am still hoping for a better outcome.
