Again, I want to be clear (because often I think I come across as some sort of dogmatic DBer) that reading other authors and learning as much as possible about our sitches is a GREAT thing but realize that most all of them will say that THEY are the right way to do things (as does DB for the most part, lol) and so you just have to try to find a set of guidelines, whether it be DB only, or some combonation of DB and something else, then stick with it. You just have to be careful that you aren't mixing stratageys that conflict with each other because not only will YOU get confused, but so will she, and not in that good "who is this GREAT man, and why did I stray from him" way.
The good news, AND bad news about DB is that it allows for and takes time. Sometimes it seems like there is no progress but usually that just means you are too focused on the relationship or your W and not on your own growth and changes.
Anyway, if you are looking to complement DB/DR, I can make a few suggestions that I think most here would support.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus - This is a "must read" as far as I am concerned. It's no good saving a marriage only to make the same "male" (or "female for that matter) all over again. This book can help you understand a lot about what you may have been doing wrong in your marriage simply because you didn't understand what your W was trying to tell you, and she didn't understand you either.
The 5 Love Languages - This is the other "must read". In this book, you learn about how different people communicate love in different ways. You learn about the 5 languages of love that according to the author, most people use to express their love to one another. It shows how people often express love in THEIR preferred way and not that of their partner, something that leads to one or both feeling unloved simply because they don't recognize the "type" of love being shown to them.
The Four Agreements - This one is kinda out there, but REALLY good at starting to get you to understand how to think on your own and not personalize things. I can't really explain this but it is a very highly regarded book for personal development. Check out a review before you buy this one to see if you think it would help.
The Little Book of Letting Go - This is simply a book that will help you understand how to let go of life's little nuisances and really enjoy the good parts of your day.
Passionate Marriage - I am still reading this one but it seems to be about how to be in a close, emotional relationship and still maintain "differentiation" or as we say around here, detachment. So far, it has done a GREAT job in helping me understand why detachment is SO important, even...especially in a GOOD relationship. It also goes into pretty graphic detail about sexual issues and techniques so it is more for the "piecing" part of the situation.
I hope this little list helps. If you are into audiobooks, I know that Mars/Venus and the Four Agreements are available that way.
