ANS, Good for you for trying. The trick is to start small and try different approaches. I was a big time pursuer of my W. The fact is it smothered her. Now, I rarely pursue in any form. Relatively speaking, she has become the pursuer. It's different, but at least it works.
My pursuit is limited to positive support. I make a point of complimenting her when it is deserved and I do small positive stuff for her on a regular basis. Nothing big. I tried that route and it did not work.
One thing for sure is the more positive you can be, the more people want to be around you. It's human nature. That includes WAS's.
In regards to stating a need of yours, your right, if W offers no opportunity, you can't do it. You probably sense your W is still holding you at a distance trying to protect her space and identity. You will also sense when that changes. Keep trying different small positive things to soften her up. When I say small, I mean smaaaaall. For instance, if you buy flowers for her, it is a blatant attempt that can be rebuked. If you open a door for her, it could be out of your gentlemanly habit that you do cus your a great guy. She could still rebuke it, but she will be unsure if she was justified. You want her to be unsure when she responds in a negative manner.
