Yes, Kent, you got it right again buddy, my mantra needs to be "chill, relax, calm down, you've been here before, you know what to do, you can deal with it". I've done much better with remembering it lately. I did do a great job with the birthday. I hurt but it didn't show and I enjoyed the music and the food. I even enjoyed that he had a good time. There were a couple of times when he said things that would make anyone in my situation furious but I was sweet as could be.
The next day I tried to talk about my needs. Unfortunately, it just reinforced what I've been experiencing over the past 9 months or so: expressing a need seems to guarentee it won't be met. So onward with taking care of myself! I'm giving up on OR talks again.
Thanks Me2. I'm glad you are still here as I remember how our H's have a lot in common and that we are both the type that feel we need to understand. Both needing lots of patience and an ability to let go when all the thinking in the world is not going to make things any clearer.
As I posted in the Newbie section, I read David's friendship to love and passion thread that Australian posted in his wonderful one-stop-best-of-DB posting in that section. I found this inspiring. Anyone here want to focus on some of these ideas and figure out how to pull them off?
PS My story is on the next page if anyone wants some background. I'm determined to do my best to create a better me and a better marriage!
[ October 02, 2001: Message edited by: alottolearn ]
