Posted this three places but am especially interested to hear what you piecing folks think of this:
I'm an old timer who doesn't come around much any more. Doing pretty well with staying busy rebuilding my own life. I'm going to get through this as well as I can figure and will live to tell about it here--I PROMISE.
Here's the situation: H birthday is today. Yesterday, 2 1/2 year post his affair, while unpacking boxes I found an old birthday present he'd received from the OW, a little bracelet, very little. Great, another ah- ha, just what I needed, this was a sex toy! How stupid can a wife be! How heartless can a husband be to bring something like that home. Sorry, I'm whining but it feels like I've been shot in the gut again. Now, I find it years later. Will the woundings never end? Can't I once and for all accept that this happened with more terrible details than I will ever know and somehow steal myself to the ones that I stumble upon. There are more rotten aspects concerning significant dates that make all this especially difficult.
I have decided not to bring it to his attention--what would that accomplish? (This is progress because anger has gotten the better of me in the past.) I've decided to bury it in the back yard. We are in temporary housing and I like the idea of leaving this behind with all the other painfulness of this phase of our lives.
On top of this my H has been working every waking moment (at least I hope that's what he's doing)and we've had almost no contact for over a month. It feels worse than it was during the affair, in that it's like he's become a stranger. And now I'm called on to give him a happy birthday.
All good wishes, prayers, words of wisdom, are deeply appreciated and I'll do my best to pass them along to others in time.
