Thank you for the background. If your husband is going through a depression and won't get the help, your hands are tied other than keep working on yourself. I wish I had something better to relay. You may opt to send periodic emails asking how he's doing with no hidden agenda (i.e., getting together, moving closer,etc.). Just a thought. The 'I don't love you anymore' is alien talk. The depression is likely under this guise b/c he needs to have something to blame his current condition. Often it takes a person to really hit bottom before one takes action to get better. I know this personally. When I was feeling depressed both clinically and circumstantially, I went through periods of anxiety and then depression and it took my physical health to deteriorate before I got help. I wish I had a more optimistic response. The most you could do for the situation is to take care of YOURSELF whether through pampering or counseling and getting on with your life. It's really hard but you've made it this far, right? First and foremost, God does play a huge role in all of this and I prayed like never before when my H left. God gave me the peace and serenity around this dilemma and I prayed specifically that my H's heart softened which it finally did.
Does H have any medicators? Has he gone through any life changes besides the obvious of getting married? You both are so new at this marriage thing and I can tell you my first year was probably the hardest. Most would attest to this as well. How long did you guys date/live together before the wedding? If you guys have a long history (which is relative but perhaps you were together for a few years), this will be in your favor as well. Does your H have any medicators? If so, this will only serve him for a time and then H may realize they don't work. Has H made any kind of niche in TX? Does H have family there? Again, I ask these questions b/c if you answered 'yes' to any/all of the above, it may take some time. My H didn't have a lot of friends but his family came in every other w/end or he went to see them and he worked A LOT which gave him a lot of diversions.
The bottom line, keep working on yourself, first and foremost have faith you both will reconcile (many would argue this could set one up for let down but I disagree, w/o hope, what do you have), and mostly pray for H that he gets what he needs and you get the peace and comfort knowing God is much bigger than all of this and can mend any broken marriage. My prayer for my H was that God soften his heart since he was so angry but also to search my heart in terms of where I went wrong. Very humbling but well worth doing the self inventory. Another thing to remember, patience is a must and detach lovingly. The more you are concerned with taking care of YOURSELF, the better your chances. If H is still being resistant or not responding, you may have to wait longer. Time may seem like the enemy but it may also be the very thing that will be the glue. I can tell you my relationship has never been better. I am definitely doing things differently than before and H has taken notice. Before H left me, I was so concerned with taking care of him and not myself which led to my resentment of why he wasn't taking care of MY needs. Not a healthy scenario. While we were apart, I worked on getting my self esteem back, got together with family and friends (A LOT) and planned fun outings/trips. It took a lot out of me and at times I was simply going through the motions but it sure beat sitting around wondering if it was going to work out b/w us. Are you currently working and do you like what you do? Do you have people who are supporting you?
Keep your chin up. It may just take time and ultimately faith all will fall into place. And for some reason if it doesn't, you don't want expend all your psychic energy nor time waiting and pining. For me I had to realize that my H coming/not coming back was out of my control. What was in my control was how I responded to it.
I hope this helps. If you would ever want to correspond via email, my address is: sarahlfuller@hotmail.com. Sorry for all the babble speak
