Sarah, Trent is so right. W and I are about 10 mos into the recon process. It definitely takes desire and effort on the part of both spouses.
Not sure of your story or if you are togather seeing a M counselor. At some point you need to discuss what went wrong with ears and hearts open. Both of you need to make an effort to meet the others needs.
Don't expect loads of quick progress. This is a process of baby steps.
Tell H you don't want to keep the apartment cus of what it represents. Keep in mind that H may not be ready to come home yet. He may be very unsure of himself, you and the R. If this is the case. It may be wise to delay his return.
Personally, I think this process continues for the rest of our lives. R's don't work well on automatic. The speed at which we arrive at that warm fuzzy spot is dependent on the willingness and ability to confront what we contributed to the mess in the first place.
You will need patience now more than ever before.
Welcome to the Piecing forum.
Kent
[This message has been edited by KentS (edited 07-28-2001).]
