Stopped in to say hey! I'm feeling quite a bit better. I must admit I let go of all this stuff for a while. No reading, no posting, no thinking about OR (OK not much). Had some family business to attend to. Not real pleasant, but I got thru it.
Ans, You were right. "It is working"! I just became overwelmed with a bunch of issues that were demanding my attention. W and I are OK. We still have a few issues to address, but we have come a loooong way.
Me2, You were right on. "Live Life"! That is what I need right now. It's been a year of DBing and almost a year of ailing R before that. Like you, I need to return to some sort of normalcy. I overloaded on too much R. Mine and others. I realized this after reading your post about 3 times. I took your advice. Thanks!
I'm glad to see you all progressing with your own dramas. With the horrible events of this past week, I wondered why we continue with this struggle. Life is so short and yet we continue to subject ourselves to this kind of pain. Why? It must be deeper than human understanding. It must have something to do with the sense that God has implanted into every one of us. If only we can dig deep, find the gift and embrace it.
I found myself questioning everything about my life again these past weeks, Damned if the answers did'nt come back the same again. So I am going to accept my answers and as Me2 said, "Live Life".
It made me so happy to hear that you and W are "doing OK". I think that when someone makes that statement on this BB, it means you're doing GREAT. Yes. It's working and that's great!
Get overwhealmed sometimes? Yeah! I'm sure that's also something we can all relate to. All of the events that are happening around us - including the terrorist attacks are horrible. I truly feel for the victims. I have a friend who's marriage is in trouble. His W's niece was killed yesterday in a traffic accident. But that doesn't mean that he should put his efforts (to get his marriage back in order) aside. That's why we continue the struggle. We can't do much personally for other people - other than giving moral support, but we can affect our own lives.
HEY kENT, Good to hear from ya and that your doing ok. This is my third week back home and boy does DBing help. especially being aware of the infamous P-D dynamic. Thanks, I have always got alot out of your sharing. mikeg
Mike, I'm glad you finally are settling in at home. Make sure you still give W lots of space. Smothering is easy to do.
Also, take time for yourself (alone).
I'm still workin on "just livin". Keeping my mind off OR stuff, trying to enjoy my time with the kids and W. My receipe is to encourage W to find her way, offer plenty of space, respect and affection and focus on enjoying MY life.
I accept that staying in a centered position will not necessarily ever be an automatic function. It seems that we when we drop our guard, there is always something waiting to throw us for a loop.
Well, Happy DB'ing Anniversary!! I'm sure it's unquestionably been both the longest AND shortest year of your life, right?! No doubt one of the most educational! You're an inspriration, my friend. Keep it up!
JJ
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My final post to this thread. A final revelation that may be of value to some who are ready.
Ann, D and I just finished putting down our 8 year old puppy. That makes two this year. Alot of death pain and joy in a short period has taught me a lesson. Live for the moment, rather than the future. That does not mean to shed hopes and dreams. It means enjoy what you have now cus now is a fleeting thing. Keep goals and dreams in perspective.
As a goal oriented person, my view of living has been constant revision of future goals and dreams. The end result has been a life that I have not really participated in nor enjoyed. This revelation has been twittering about me this past year but has finally sunk in.
ENJOY WHAT YOU HAVE, cus one way or another, you will eventually lose it.
I think we suffer more when we realize that we never fully appreciated what we had until it is gone.
