***************************** A slow road to a happy ending? I realize that there is more involved in making this happen then I first thought. I find that I have been cruising along for a short while now without making any real personal progress for myself or my R. I feel that I have become somewhat stuck without direction for what my next step needs to be. ***********************************
I am beginning to wonder if I have a 'next step' to make, or what? I think I'll just try living for a while. Kids started school, I start next week...fall is always a busy time of year.
I know what our issues are, I know there are demons my H has that he is not ready to face-I am thinking he may never be ready to face them. I cannot change that and I cannot do it for him. I am here for him if he ever does want to face them.
It's harder than I think tho....a slow road to a happy ending is what I've been doing...and it scares me because it sometimes seems that I'm not there yet-it makes me think I'm NOT doing something I should be doing. It does not scare me enough to NOT do it, but just enough to force myself to keep my eyes WIDE OPEN from now on. Perhaps my happy ending is now-what I'm living in? I try to focus on today-the here and now- and although I have hope and dreams for our future, I cannot predict what will happen. I am planning for one together but I can only hold a limited degree of certainty for it. Not because I'm being a defeatist...but a realist. I do NOT know what the future holds...the world could end next week...who knows? But I am planning on being around AND married (to H) for a very long time. I will do all I can to support that.
And then in the meantime...just live.
Take care my friend-you have helped me more than you know....I wish you all the best!
