ME2-Hi! This is the first time I've read your posts. I kinda know what he is going thru as I think you know why. The "I don't know"answer. Well in some cases it may be true. It is hard for him to deal with, between guilt and shame, which I've found to be from a strong pride. That is one of his biggest stumbling blocks right now. When he can get past that, he will be able to start to open up. He is confused, scared, and maybe a bit sorrowful. I'm not totally sure of how he is feeling, but that is the way I felt. I would have to say that the "why's" don't always necessarily match what you may be thinking. My W still doesn't believe that the OW were just an excuse. And truely, they were. Men do have a hard time with explaining their feelings. I've read lots and lots and are being able to fully articulate how I feel. I think that if you hear the "why's", that you may want to know more than that because it may not match your perceived notions as to what they were. He may or more like was afraid to show you affection when you felt you needed it. Looking back on it, if that situation had happened with me at the time, I would have probably reacted in the same way. I am still finding out things my W has not told me of situations where she felt she needed my support, but was not getting it. I wasn't aware. Had I known or had she said something, it might have been different. My W tried real hard, and when she pushed, I ran. I look back now and see how stupid it is, but that is how we react. With your continued support, he will come around. It may take some time. It took me almost 7 months..........a little too late, but I'm not giving up. You have a love that is one of your greatest allies. He could be afraid that you will be hurt and not want to be with him or hate him. I've dealt with those feelings too. I get the feeling that you want to know the what was she like, why her, did she make you happier than I do, what was it about her that interested you and so forth. I may be totally wrong. I'm rambling at this point. If there is anything specific you might want to know, that I may shed some light onto feel free to email me. futurasport@hotmail.com. He is confused, I do know that, because that was my answer too. I dont' know. Because at that time I wasn't sure. God Bless you.
