Thanks...I was feeling pretty down - and I just found out that H is going to be out of town for 3 days over my birthday in 3 weeks.
That really sucks. He didn't even say 'gee, I'm sorry it's over your b-day' or 'hey La I'll see what I can do about going another time'....but he didn't-at least not in the voicemail he left me, he asked me to call him back but I just couldn't. When he called me again and told me I said I was pretty busy with work and couldn't talk. I don't think he knew it upset me and if I can muster enough DB strength....he won't.
He has a great capacity for warmth, and in the past when I have asked for a hug-he's always been right there with open arms. Sometimes I just don't want to have to ask-I want him to WANT to comfort me-even when I don't ask.
DAM IT he should be able to read my mind!!!
The night the bomb was dropped I rolled over to my side of the bed with my back to him....wondering if I was gonna be able to sleep in the same bed with him-he asked if he could hold me...I told him I didn't think so and besides it wouldn't change anything...he replied with 'yeah, but it might make you feel better-I know it will me'.
I'm just being impatient again.
Oh, also, there's more crap with MIL, or MILFH (as so aptly coined by R8chel)...but I need to give it a bit more thought...she really is looney-and I cannot help but blame her for the way H is.
Someone in another post I read today, I think on NC (not sure who's post or who wrote this...but) they assured the person who started the thread that their marriage would not revert back to the same old thing as before the A, because of the positive changes they've made within themselves, but as for the rest of it I'm just not so sure I agree. I know the changes I have made in myself are for the better, but I just don't see a different H.
It's like there was this little 'hiccup' in our marriage (the A) and he wants to just forget about it and move on 'business as usual' and 'everything's rosy'. (this is where I start to blame MILFH and that whole family...they are SOOOOO in denial and are such a bunch of CLASSIC avoiders).
Gonna focus on getting through one day at a time...
thanks for the hugs yous guys....much appreciated!!!
