Well, Lee, I found another application for your suggestion about the journal. My W suffers from clinical depression, and yesterday was a rather blue day. It was an uncomfortable evening dealing with it, ended up arguing, but called a truce. When we got to bed, I told her that for Father's Day, I'd like for her to write down for me some of her favorite smells, favorite sounds, favorite tastes, favorite things to touch and feel, etc. She asked me why, and I told her I wanted to know more about her, what makes her feel good. I wasn't expecting any answers right then, but she started naming things, all across the board, and she kept going on for about 5 minutes!! The end result was we ended up kicking out her little blue monster, and the rest of the evening went great. Her mood improved vastly, she said many times how much she loves me, and she slept well.
I'll be trying to use some of the things she let me know about to help her through her dark times. I'm thinking that if we can stimulate her senses of touch, smell, taste, and hearing to guide her towards more pleasurable states, her mind will follow. It's just a theory, but it seems to make sense to me. Seems like it'll help even when she isn't depressed. Just think of how the smell of fresh baked bread, cookies, or anything else you like can affect your mood, and make you feel happy. Certain sounds, certain tastes, on and on. Does this make sense to anybody else? It'll be worth a try for me. Will keep you up on the results. Thanks!!!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
