jj- You are on the right track dude!! Those things if done by my H would definitely get me going!

Violet - I am going to try to find that book - I especially like the reversible jacket cover!!

Lee - How have you been, girlfriend ?! I have missed talking with you!! I have a couple of Laura Corn's books - we have tried a few entries from each - need to get them out and dust them off!!


Kent and JJ -


As you have discussed, the way to get your lady love to warm up starts long before you get to the act. You both have some really good ideas of your own already for getting started. I think it is even more of a challenge if there are children around, Kent. You are already contributing to a more conducive atmosphere (FWIW since I don't have any children, yet). You fully share in the caretaking and that is a huge deal for the women I know!

Personally - I don't have much difficulty getting into the mood if I have been feeling close to H during the day or during the week.
Some specific things that help me...

* little touches from H - sexual, non-sexual
* phone calls from H during the day just to say "hi", flirting is good.
* H resisting the urge to ogle when an attractive female walks by -this is "my" issue I know, but it has been more important to me lately... Something about needing to feel like "I am enough" for him.
* Compliments and sweet thoughts verbalized.


H doesn't do it , but little tokens of affection - My favorite gum/snack, sweet card or little gift of ANY kind would shock and surprise me.

I have also read Light His/Her fire and like the ideas presented in those books for the most part.

* H and I talked about putting strips of paper in a jar with things we would like from each other (some sexual, some not) and drawing from it on a regular basis - Each spouse would use a different color paper for their "wishes".

* here is a link to check out at the Marriage Builders website that addresses this topic in depth.
[URL=http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/002391.html]

Lee - I think I will try the passion journal myself - I read an interesting book for women similar to what you are doing in yours.(can't remember the title, sorry)

Every day you experiment with different sensations that are pleasurable (non-sexual first) then progress to exercises where you explore your own body in various ways - focusing on going slowly, to fully experience what each touch is like, some even involve food and other interesting "props" - All by yourself!! Then you write about it in a journal. Later in the book you get your partner involved!!

It sounds like a way of discovering what you really like about your own body and becoming more sensual. I read it at the bookstore one night, but can try to find it if you are interested.

Sorry for hi-jacking the thread for a moment fellas!! You might want to find it for your wives, though!

Have fun everybody!!

B

[This message has been edited by biv_b (edited 06-14-2001).]