I recommended a book called "52 nights of great sex" already (by Laura Corn)...
Seriously though, you guys seem your siwves are lucky womrn! It's so complicated to know what makes a woman tick, believe me, I don't know either!! My H used to do a stunning amount of generally sweet things, too. A lot of the time he was assuming what he thought I wanted, and would deliver it before I asked. And I still felt like he wasn't trying to find out what I REALLY wanted, even passed it off with the underlying motive of just wanting sex. It came down to the fact that neither of us had never defined those things for ourselves or each other. And he burnt out doing this stuff (he did that for everyone in his life), not feeling appreciated. I'm still not got over being thoroughly disgusted with myself for not seeing what was happening, but I have realized something. I was not lighting my own fire.
So I started a "passion journal" not long ago. And in it I am writing down lists. Lists of everything benign and exciting to me. Instead of jumping straight to the "what are my fantasies", I am starting smaller, with subjects like "what are my favorite things to touch", "What are my favorite things to smell", "When do I feel most relaxed?" ... Making connections from these clues. Buttered (movie) popcorn ended up on several of these lists. I never knew I liked it so much!!
Takes some time to get started, but once I started paying attention to these things, I see more of them. And I am going to take some of it and turn it into a gift for my H for his birthday (assuming he deserves it at that point). Hehehe.
Maybe you could start asking your wives these kind of questions on date night, and if she seems uncomfortable, I'll bet any money that it's because she hasn't thought of these for herself before. And I bet she'll be glad you want to know.
