Kent - You ARE in a very cool place! So centered and calm, and you seem able get in and out of your cave with solutions quickly and effectively. You are a master!
You talk about what is missing for you now - that "innocent lustful passion" that was ripped away. I don't agree with Krasnow that it just happens, get over it..
I do believe in comes and goes in waves - and maybe it will never be as intense as it first was, but that the intensity is different rather than lessened over time. A solution would be to try to fan the flame that may no longer be innocent to an intense roar. Maybe you aren't looking for a solution to this, just feeling sad for the loss.
If you want solutions - I have ideas... I may not do so well at the non-reactive aspects of DB - but I have been able to get H to chase me around in lustful passion - this from the man who said " I'm just not attracted to you anymore".. and other things his body could not lie about!!! And I did it all by changing my behaviors.
Have you and W been away together alone in recent months? This could be a good way to reconnect and reignite.
I have several other suggestions if you are interested. I know off and on that H and I have missed this and I can tell you the things he did that as a woman helped me get some of that feeling back - for me it has a lot to do with being playful and silly, but time away from the everyday stressors is a BIG factor in getting started back on the path to passion.
I have girlfriends that are SAHMs and I know that it is very hard for them to separate the part of them that is Mommy and the part that is "lustful goddess". I know some of them even turn that part off due to the stress of running after the little ones and taking care of things at home. If you are looking to bring out the goddess in your W, I know it is possible, and it might not be that difficult.
Just say the word - I'll spill the secrets! She won't know what hit her!!
By the way, I am so impressed at how you share parenting with your wife - I don't know many guys who do what you do!! Your wife is very lucky in many ways!
