The other thread is getting old. Now that the C sessions are really drawing to a close I figured it was time to let that thread sleep.
I discovered an interesting phenomenon this past weekend. Over the past few days, I experienced the full range of feelings including resentment, joy, love, anger. While the feelings are normal, the way I reacted to each was different. Different that is to how I would have reacted a year ago.
The resentment is a feeling that I am trying eliminate from my being. Not sure if I will succeed but It does get dealt with rather harshly by my conciousness. Once identified my resentment antibodies attack it with the intent to kill. I still withdraw during this brutal battle, but the time lost is shorter than ever. Our poor dog was exhausted after our 1.5 hour walk.
Anger like resentment is an undesirable feeling. Unfortunately, it tends to attack swiftly taking your breath away. I find that quick detection is the key. I am working on building several new high speed detection systems in my mind. While W can no longer cause anger in me, the kids certainly can. My goal for the next several months is to master my new detection sytems. I figure this is lagging since the Zoloft I was on was pretty effective at eliminating this feeling.
Joy and Love are the feelings I strive for now. The old me would have noticed them and moved on to solve other problems. The new me sits and revels in these feelings to make them last as long as possible.
DBing is truley about personal change. It is about making what is good as lasting as possible and discarding what is bad. Why I had to be 42 before I could begin to understand these concepts is a little disheartening but, I guess better late than never.
Patience is the key to change. Patience with yourself and patience with others. We can affect change in our spouse and our children but not with authoritarian rule dealt out in anger or unhappiness. Consistant loving guidance is the key.
"Ok, take a breath and count to three. Now smile". My new motto. I think it's time to retire the "one day at a time" motto.
Kent
[This message has been edited by KentS (edited 05-21-2001).]
