First off, I commend you for doing the therapy thing. It can be scary for a lot of people and the fact that you did it, and now are benefiting from it is GREAT.
Now, as far as your H goes, I think he just has to find his own way. He has a LOT of trust issues with you I think. I know your self-discovery makes you feel 100% better TODAY, and now that you know what you know, you also feel 100% sure that you will not make the same mistakes as you made in the past.
Well, he isn't likely to be so sure. In fact, it's going to take him a long time to trust these "changes" in you and I think you just have to accept that.
I do hope he does go to C with you, especially if he's not been to therapy before. I think it MAY help him process and trust what you say faster. The problem is that he may view going to C as participating in a process (saving the marriage) that he doesn't believe in right now and something for you, not him.
Please, I think you just need to give it, and him some time. It took a LONG time to get things this f-ed up, and now it will take time to un-f them up.
I think you are doing the right things and just keep it up. I would, however, suggest that you not text H so much. You don't want to seem to be pressuring him or trying to use your "discovery" as a tool in that endeavor. Your self-exploration and discovery is personal and it's benefit is best seen as action rather than heard as words or texts.
