Monchichi, you haven't posted anything yet on what you are doing to change. For you to have a good marriage, your H is going to have to be persuaded that you are worthy of trust and respect. What are you doing to become a more trustworthy person, and one who has high moral standards for her life?
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
