Hi guys. I am making a pretty good weekend. Taking lots of time for me. I need it- things at work have been insane on top of stuff with H, I've been burning the candle every which way.
JJ: ********************************************* He will do better if you are up, strong, happy, and don't feed his depression. Learn a few new jokes that you can tell him, maybe just to change the subject of you need to. ********************************************* This is a lot like some of the baby step goals I had for this situation (things we weren't doing much) before the events of last week:
1. He would contact me more - call on the weekend (more often). Maybe even want to see me, maybe even if he had his daughter with him. 2. We would be able to do something like sit and enjoy the stars and succeed at NOT talking OR- just enjoy each other. 3. I would not dwell on the future, but let good things happen (with him and other parts of my life). 4. He would let good things happen, too.
All of these happened this weekend. Friday night, actually. He called as I was leaving some friends and on my way home. He asked me to stop for a minute on my way home. (which was unexpected) I kept with my plan and we acknowledged that we've left things hanging and he's really down, but then both said we did not want to go there, just to enjoy each other for a few minutes. And it worked! Some hugs, and before I left he asked if it was out of line to kiss me.
Strange. I do not want to overanalyze this. I do wonder though, Why now? He said he just wanted to "be in my space" for a while, and had been thinking of me and wanting to call a lot. We both smiled a lot. He mentioned taking baby steps, and I was thinking- towards what? Has he changed his mind from last week? Is he reaching out for comfort? Or is he trying to make us OK with what he said he wanted? I have acknowledged these thoughts, and I am putting them away now. I am not going to dwell on it, because it was just NICE.
Plan for this week- keep doing these little different things:
Let him do the reaching, keep it light, and stay strong (less worrying). Guys - Slap me if I get out of line
