"The good news in all this is that I never told her I was going dark, so I can end this any time I please. If this continues for a couple of weeks, I may invite her over ... we'll see. "
You words don't seem to echo any strength or resolve. While you are using going dark as a 'tactic' so that your ego can be stroked by the pursuit of the infidel, you may as well crawl to her on your knees and beg for forgiveness for all that you have done wrong. Not that that's going to get you anywhere I'm sure you know that but please, what you have planned and executed so well is a strategy and not a tactic.
You see, you need to go dark FOR YOU. You are the one that needs to grow up RIGHT NOW. Sure, your W has some growing to do but you are the one that needs to make the start.
While you allow yourself to see, think about, consider reconcilliation etc etc with your W, it's these thoughts that are keeping you both attached and stuck.
Going dark is something that YOU need to do for YOURSELF. How long do you need to do this for? For however long it takes for you to wake up to yourself and understand what it is that you deserve out of life.
Not that long ago, you had reached a point where you were realizing that you wanted more children, you wanted a motherly type as your life partner etc. A description that doesn't seem to fit the adulterer that you are currently pining away for.
You need to get back to where you left this realization at. You need to built on it because you are at such a critical junction in your life. It can go either way.
While your daughter can't go dark, there are creative ways that you can allow her to spend time with her mom. You don't need to be part of that other than thinking up the creative part to avoid your W.
Say you've been dark for a month and you cave and haven't grow sufficiently in your emotions....than you are back to square one. A month of time down the drain.
Just remember, going dark is FOR YOU because YOU HAVE TO DO IT if you want to escape the emotional hell that you are living in.
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
