It seems to me that your W can get by on a minimum. Minimum time with D4, minimum time with you, minimum time with her family etc. She's a damn minamalist.
What I think this means, is by her seeing you, even if it it only for a brief period or a few minutes a week, is enough for her to get by on.
That could mean that she doesn't get to miss you and has no reason to get her head out of the ass because she know you are there...taking care of business.
I'm not sure dude but it could be that your need to spend time/see her isn't working for you in the way that you want it to work.
By you remaining in her twisted reality, it's possbile that you could be prolonging it which would be tough because you've been through so much BS, what from stepping foot in the love nest to seeing mixed underwear in the dirty clothes hamper. For that, I stand and salute you because that would be a show stopper for me because I understand that is not what I deserve.
What I'm saying here is perhaps YOU are driving too much contact and a 180 to that would be to go totally black on her. That's what I'd do if I were you. Not only for the sitch but for your own mental health.
Anyways RB, you're spending too much energy thinking up what could and what may not be happening. It's pure speculation at it's finest. I know the temptation to look for 2 and 2 so you can put them together but at the end of the day, do you really want to understand her silly, twisted world. There's hardly anything worthwhile such an insight would provide.
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
