W31, OM 20 (actually now 21!) Part III

[RBinBR]

Spent some time with W today. She and I were going to pick D up early from school for lunch, but she was pressed for time and it ended up being during D's naptime at school, so we just made it a lunch date for the two of us. She then asked me to go with her on an appointment 45 minutes away to keep her company. I said sure.

We had very good interactions together. One of the things that I got from David Cunningham was that using humor can be a big key to reigniting attraction, so I've been reading some joke books, and I cracked a couple at appropriate times today that went over well. It only makes sense to try to use humor to make your spouse enjoy the time you spend together.

I told her that she owes me a massage and a haircut (since she complained about the last one I got and she used to cut my hair). This is another thing that Cunningham suggests that I think makes sense with DB -- don't let your wife get you to do too many things for her without asking for something back. So we'll see if those things happen this weekend.

I did something else this week that was good ... asking her opinion about some art that I'm buying for my classroom. Since I'm going to be teaching math, I'm getting some geometric art that I think is really cool. Anyway, from the very many prints available from this artist on art.com, I narrowed it down to 12 and had W pick 3 for me to buy. Before, I didn't really value her opinion, so this is another thing (like the clothes shopping) where I can demonstrate that I respect her.

Back to today ... W infuriated me by randomly saying that, though she doesn't spend much time with D, it's quality time and she really plays with D, and her parents hardly ever played with her at all (implying that she's still a better parent than my in-laws were to her). I really wanted to jump back with one of several replies to this, but I quickly dismissed all of them and just smiled. It isn't my job to tell her that she's a bad mother for seeing her daughter 3 hours a week. She must know this at some level and was obviously engaging in a little self-justification.

The other thing that she said was that she may move out of her apartment in October when her lease runs out and move in with her grandmother and uncle. That's actually pretty ridiculous, as her uncle is a total slob and their house is swarming with roaches (and my W has a special scream that she reserves for roaches, lol). I guess this was her way of telling me that she is still expecting OM to leave soon. Speaking of which, she continues to display even more army stuff. She had a U.S. Army coffee mug ("an army of one") in her car, and she wrote with a U.S. Army ballpoint pen. I've previously mentioned the U.S. Army keychain. They obviously give you a lot of stuff when you enlist, but I wonder what this stuff means to her. Does it represent her love for OM and support for him and his career choice? Or does it represent her satisfaction with the fact that he is leaving? Or maybe both at the same time?