Today, we had a family barbeque for Memorial Day and also to celebrate my starting my new job tomorrow. W brought a couple of movies with her, obviously thinking that we might watch one together, but I didn't give her the chance to ask, as I made it clear that I would have to do some work to get ready for tomorrow (which I am taking a break from right now). Again, I'm not accepting every offer, and I'm not getting ahead of where she is right now.
I think I'll make the next move by asking if she'd like to go shopping with me on Thursday and help me pick out some new clothes. That's good because she enjoys shopping and I can be sure of getting clothes that make me look good in her eyes. She was telling me tonight that I should get my hair colored differently and I should start using color to get rid of the increasing grayness, so she clearly is interested in my appearance.
On another topic, I haven't posted about this in a long time, but I'm switching career and will be teaching middle school at a public school here in the fall. I'm going through an alternate certification program this summer that involves workshops and student teaching during summer school. This summer, I'll only make $7.50 an hour during training, but I'll have a decent, stable income in the fall, and I'm truly excited about making an impact as a teacher. It will also be great for helping me to take care of D4, since my work schedule will be the same as her school schedule. Tomorrow is my first day.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
RB - That's great about the teaching gig! Can I offer you a few words of advice, as a parent who has had three kids go through middle school, one with ADD?
Here's what I wish more of my kids teachers had known: - Don't write assignments in cursive. This generation really doesn't read cursive well, it's not stressed in grade school, and they never encounter it in real life - so when you write in cursive, you might as well be writing in Sanskrit.
- Post the homework assignments on a web site and/or send home sheets with the week's/month's assignments. Relying on middle schoolers to write down the assignments and keep track just sets up the ADD kids for failure. Unless you supervise and make sure every kid has written it in his planner, make sure there is some way for the parents to find out the assignments. My son's homework is way better in those classes where I can go online and check the assignments.
- Wiggly kids need to wiggle. Middle school is torture for active boys. Build some movement into the hour.
- Kids respond better to positive reinforcement than to negative reinforcement. I think we lose a lot of kids due to negative, critical middle school teachers who convince the kids that school is a horrible place.
I'm sure all your DBing skills will come in very handy! I also recommend a book called Raising Your Spirited Child by Kurcinkas - it will make you look at your "problem" students in a whole new light.
Thanks, GH. My week just got even better today with the arrival of my sizable IRS refund check.
KML, I agree with every one of your suggestions and had already planned to implement them. I've got a lot to read right now, but I'll get to your book if I get time.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Well, since my W was so eager to go clothes shopping with me, I called her yesterday at 4:30pm to ask her when she wanted to go. She finally called me back at 6:30pm today. I calmly let her know that, though she may blow off her boss and her friends and ignore their phone calls, this wasn't acceptable to me. She told me that she wasn't treating me that way, and it upset her that I would think that about her. I said, "Well, you lie to your boss, don't you? You don't tell him 'I just didn't feel like talking to you when you called.'"
My W then hung up the phone on me.
This is really a big 180 for me. I used to simply hold things in until I would get really mad and explode. I'm now committed to calmly discussing my grievances with her as is appropriate. In this case, I'm letting her know that, if she wants to remain my friend, it isn't OK to wait 26 hours to return my phone calls. Since she hung up on me, I'll make sure that we're clear on that the next time we talk.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
How's things RB? How's the new teaching job going? Hope it's going well for you....it's great to hear you'll have a full-time position in the fall. Something wonderful to look forward to!!
Hey, NM. Thanks for asking. I haven't been updating much because I have been very busy. I'm now doing some supervised teaching during summer school, and I also have additional study and assignments for the program I'm in.
Tonight for example, I have to finalize my classroom discipline plan, write a lesson plan for what I'm teaching tomorrow, figure out how to teach what I have to teach tomorrow, read about 30 pages in my teaching guidebook, write a page describing what I would do differently than my cooperating teacher, etc. I also have to revise my resume, because tomorrow is career day, and I have initial interviews with 5 different middle schools.
On the R front, W and I are going to make another attempt to go shopping together tomorrow or Friday. I'm looking forward to it and would suggest this as an activity for other guys on this board. It lets your W put you in clothes that she likes and thinks look good on you, and most women love to shop, so give it a shot.
W suprised me Monday by introducing D4 to OM. I clearly don't approve, but I don't think that meeting him is the big deal that others on this board seem to think about the OP. It used to be a big deal to me, but I realized that this was really about ME, and that meeting OM is not likely to really hurt D any more than she is already being harmed. I know that there is no way that OM could even begin to take my place in D's heart, and there's really no point about worrying about it.
In fact, it probably means that OM is leaving this week. The previous time that W made him leave, he had really wanted to meet D before he left, but I was able to talk W out of it. So I'm guessing that this is the week that he ships out to basic training.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Well, W and I went clothes shopping together today. I bought a couple of pairs of slacks and shirts, and she got a top as well. It was fun, though I mostly just listened to her complain about her work. Still, this is now twice in the last two weeks that we've done something together -- just the two of us, something that hadn't happened since January.
She said she's going to be out of town Sunday and Monday, so naturally I'm wondering where she and OM are going -- and of course when OM is shipping out. Those are things we simply don't talk about anymore, though, and I'm glad, really, that I don't have to talk about him.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
Hey RB, I'm really happy and excited for you with your new career. I've often thought about a career shift myself in that direction (either at a school or college level) and its great to see you've been able to make that shift. I'm sure you'll make a great teacher!
As for the R, well, I really don't have much advice to give becuase honestly, it seems like you have things under control. YOu've made so many positive changes for yourself and really, isn't that what DBing is all about? Keep up the good work!
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
Thanks, Rob. Today was a good day. Nothing directly related to my marriage, but I took D4 to visit my grandmother, and a good visit with her became something else when my mother invited us to come over. For those of you who haven't followed my sitch closely, my mother disowned me when I got married 6 years ago, because she is racist and my W is half-Asain.
So today, my D got to meet her grandmother for the first time, and we had a really nice visit. D4 was cute and happy and sweet and clearly had no idea of the significance of the occasion. We didn't discuss my W, and my grandmother has assured me that my mother doesn't know about her A.
I just feel really blessed today and wanted to share that.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
