W31, OM 20 (actually now 21!) Part III

[RBinBR]

Is there an equivalent site for making HIM happy?

I don't know, as I wasn't looking for that, LOL. Actually, David Cunningham is supposedly working on a companion book for women, but he hasn't come out with it yet.

His book isn't "worth" $40 in terms of being a "book", as he repeats all his concepts several times in the book and many of the "116 pages" are mostly empty, since he has lots of sections. In a way, though, it was worth it, because I think several of his ideas are very good.

When I think about the sitches on this board, I can see several that resemble mine in that my W wasn't really upset with me about anything in our R. Of course, I can see things looking back that I did wrong, but I believe that Cunningham is right that the ILYBINILWY speech frequently means that "I'm not attracted to you anymore." Cunningham argues that most people don't realize that attraction and love are different things, and you can have one without the other.

A couple of things that I really got out of the book are:

1) Women like "naughty" men. He says that little girls really do like their pigtails pulled. They say that they don't, but it really causes attraction. Most women aren't attracted to men who are truly bad, but a playfully "naughty" attitude is very seductive. Here's a good example: I was watching a movie with W two nights ago and we were eating popcorn. I asked her to open her mouth, and I tried to toss a piece of popcorn in from a few feet away. I missed, so then I playfully threw a piece in her cleavage, she giggled, and we both ended up laughing and throwing popcorn at each other.

2) Women are attracted to leaders. If a man always defers to his wife (like I used to) in, say, choosing a restaurant, she will ultimately lose attraction for him. He isn't a challenge anymore. Women don't necessarily like making decisions all the time, and I realized that's why so many of the guys on this forum are so exceptionally "nice" -- we try so hard to please our W's that they take it for granted and lose attraction.

So when W went out to eat with D and me last week, and she asked me where I wanted to go, I didn't say "I dunno -- where do you want to go?" Instead, I said that I'd like to eat at Restaurant X or Restaurant Y, and did she have a specific preference for one or the other? No? Well then, let's eat at Restaurant X.

There's more to the book, but those were the two biggest things I got. I think most everything in the book is compatible with DB.

For those who don't want to buy the book, you can get most of his concepts from his daily emails, which are archived here.