Glad to hear you are hanging on. How was the wedding. IT was brave of you to go. I ca't read JJ's mind, but my guess is that he suggested you write that letter to help yourself let go, to say things that need to be said but that would do no good to actually say to him.
Your C is right--you must not think too far ahead right now. At my darkest time, the only way I made it through was by developing a "one day at a time" attitude. Believe me, I know how hard that is--I am a big planner. The future will be there whether you worry about it or not. What will you do for yourself TODAY? Tommorow? Eventually, you will be stronger and be able to think ahead to next month. But for now, just give yourself time to heal.
It is sad that your H cannot see clearly now. But you cannot change him; only yourself. IF you want, read my success story thread--I posted a link on this board. In it, I say a lot about letting go. Please be patient with yourself, pray for strength, and be a little selfish.
