I think the reason the touchy-feely thing isn't pleasant for me is that I have picked up ( especially in the past) H's anxiety. I would focus, then, on what H was doing or not doing, what he was saying ( often times goofy things just to get comfortable) and I would secretly be irritated and not turned on. He wasn't engaging me in a way that fostered desire in me, and I didn't know how to reach out to make it happen for me. I feel less self absorbed now. Instead of concentrating on H's actions, I can be more of a giver. I think we both are developing more self confidence...he's not as wishy washy and I am not silently passive, but those old feelings still surface.
Jenny, you are right, I am more of a mind person while H is more physical. And it is cool that we can attempt to do a relationship exercise. There is probably a way to continue on and learn more.
