Wow...it's been 2 whole yrs since I have first posted on this board. And I'd like to thank everyone following along, offering advice, insights, humor, or just plain reading my thread. This is the first BB I've ever participated in and I have to say that I am lucky to have found such an intelligent and warm group of people...you all are very real to me. I am not on as much and it's hard to keep up on the threads let alone process each sich and try to be of some use. I am not a fast reader or typist for that matter. I appreciate all the book info...takes me awhile to digest all the info...I seem to take bits and pieces from all the advice given here.
I know it's been said here over and over, but the main task is to have your spouse come on board...then you really can start to feel the changes. Through some differentiation, threats, counseling and perseverence I've come to understand my needs better and I keep evolving. And H has shifted in his level of cooperation, but I realize I will always be the relationship monitor and pusher for intimacy.
I have been going through some changes recently after starting to read the Peace Between The Sheets book. I realize I have been skipping over some of the EC that's a part of true lovemaking and just wanting some passionate feelings. I have unresolved resentment, anger and dislike towards my H which has prevented me from truly having a fulfilling connection. I am trying now to move beyond this by becoming more giving and relaxing more when we're in bed together. The idea from the book of not orgasming has, in a reverse psychology kind of way, revved H up. He still doesn't fully get the idea....he told me he masturbated before coming to bed to get that over with. When I told him the idea of the book is no ejaculation, he looked stunned. So I don't think we will be able to follow it, not if he's sneaking O's along the way. But we were, last night, a bit more touchy-feely and I was surprised how aroused I got. Guess I don't need the cape masks after all, and maybe the way to go is pushing through to achieve more EC where you really feel one another. As a dramatic type 4 I am still not at the place of intimacy even though we no longer have a SSM.
Anyway...happy anniv. to me...thank you all... I am still working on this.
